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I Hope It’s Really Over This Time

This morning at 4 am I began the conversation that should eventually lead to a breakup.

Breakups are always hard for me because I always leave the relationship thinking, “What if?”

But, it’s been almost three years of “what if’ing”, and I just cannot afford to go any further. If I lose anymore of myself to him I’m afraid I will cease to exist. Mentally, at this moment, I am preparing myself for the second half of the conversation tonight which will be followed with the packing of my bags and exiting is apartment and life, hopefully for good this time.

I don’t know what it is about this man. This man who brings nothing into the relationship but baggage, that keeps me coming back. He is a true addiction. Like crack and alcohol. I lose everything when I’m with him. Friends. Family. Money. Opportunity. And most of all, self-respect.

But this time it’s over.

I hope.

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One Response

  1. wow. “If I lose anymore of myself to him Iā€™m afraid I will cease to exist.” i feel your pain through your words šŸ˜¦ take these three years as a lesson learned and don’t live with regret. everything happens for a reason and don’t wonder what if. if it is/was meant to be, it will be šŸ™‚ good luck!

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