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Letting Go: Day 1

“Baaaggg laaady, you gon hurt you back draggin’ all them bags like that…”

Yeah, well, I didn’t take heed and I’m overdue for a back rub.

Even as a little girl, I held onto everything. It started as a physical thing: books, gifts, my absolute favorite toy, doll, crayon, shirt, shoes, purse…, even foods (that eventually rotted in the fridge, on top the fridge, under the bed…); then it became emotional: loves, hurts, grudges, even hates.

I became like a volcano, collecting feul and ammunition until, periodically, the pressue within my physical limits overcame my own boundaries and sweet eruption took over me. Well, sweet for me, but those unfortunate enough to be caught in my path were devastated. Every thought, every emotion, every action left undone spewed and there is never any turning back, like an all consuming orgasms the wave is ridden to completion. And when it’s over, I am euphoric, while those around me are dazed, confused and left trying to pick up the pieces of whatever I’ve ruined.

At the beginning of this month I decided to commit to at least one blog per day, partly as self-therapy and partly to get better at writing. Today is just now the official day one because I had some clearing out to do, I had to wade through come mental clutter in order to get down to exactly what it is I wanted to say and what I want to convey with this blog, especially after being in essentially same situation I was in this time last year.

Also, with this I hope as I experience life– the good, the bad and the overly emotional– I will come here and let go of some of those things instead of carrying it all around. Maybe this time next year, instead of shaking my head in regret and confusion, I will be able to hold my head high and my back straight.


2 Responses

  1. Thanks for stopping by. I LOVE Eyrkah Badu!!!!!! I look forward to reading your posts.

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