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Reflections: I Wanna Be Married Soooo Bad!

That is how my pastor started chuch yesterday, by making a joke at the expense of the single people in the congregation.

But he made up for it by saying that the only love we truly NEED is God’s love, and that is the thing that strong marriages survive on. He told us to have faith that God has us right where he wants us to be. He assured us that just because we are absent an earthly husband, it does not mean we are without a heavenly one.

BUT, I wondered to myself, what about those long days, when everything is going wrong and you’ve talked Jesus’s ear off and you just wish you had a mortal being with you, someone you could eat lunch with and yell at to get the pressure off your chest. Someone who can hold your rigid hand until it softens beneath theirs. Someone to tell your secrets to, to sit by in church, to text in class when drug names and nursing interventions become too much to think about.

And what about when nighttime falls and there’s no one to watch your favorite programs with. When there’s no one to fall asleep on the phone with, or on the couch with. When there’s no one to hold when your best friend betrays you, or mother’s no longer there for you.

These used to be my questions. But now I have grown a bit stronger in my faith, and when the enemy whispers the pleas of the lonely in my ear, I talk to Jesus, even if I have to talk both ears off. I ask him to hold me at night. He sent me a comforter before he left so why should I NEED a man, why should I want to be a married so bad? Besides his love will never fail us, or have us in question, or leave us crying over the things it has done. All of those things are good to have, but I know that if the Lord does not want me with it, it’s because he has something better for me, be it here on earth on in the heavens above.

As woman (and men) we have to know how to be with and belong to God first before we can be with or belong to someone else. I have taken my unfaithfullness to God as the root to all of my failed relationships, especially since everytime one fails I go running back to Him. He gives me peace, but whenever the next man comes along, I go running after him regardless to what God wants and then I find myself heartbroken once again. I know that God will give me the man I desire in his own time and all I have to do is be faithfull and wait on the Lord so I can be READY to whoever he decided to give me to until I return to Him in heaven.

PeaceLoveThanksgiving
Bree

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4 Responses

  1. First off, welcome back to blogging. This was a great post. Very heartfelt and well written.

    All of those things are good to have, but I know that if the Lord does not want me with it, it’s because he has something better for me, be it here on earth on in the heavens above. So true. Even though or when I fall short of the word I never fail to understand how there is so much greater awaiting those who are wanting to go. I think we both could stand to remind ourselves and others of this truth.

    He gives me peace, but whenever the next man comes along, I go running after him regardless to what God wants and then I find myself heartbroken once again Being nosy here, but why do you think this is so?

  2. Don-

    Thanks for stopping by. It is true we all fall short, but sometimes some us fall further behind than others, so you are right it is up to the ones who recognize this to help those who don’t.

    Weeellllll…..

    I tried to answer, but realized my answer could be a post of its on. SO as always thanks for your comment and come back Wednesday if you are still interested in my answer.

    PeaceLoveThanksgiving
    Bree

  3. OMG I love this blog entry! This is so very true! I’m going to read more

  4. @ Alieux…thanks for stopping by. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels this way….makes me feel a little less crazy…lol!

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