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My Life…In General

I have attempted to begin a blog many times before, but was never exactly sure how to begin such an awkward virtual monologue. But the past couple of weeks have proven to me that I need some sort of outlet that didn’t involve the risk of nicotine addiction. School, family, relationships and my own psychological demons have, of lately, all been pressing me for results and for time that I can’t quite deliver. Physically, I am but one person, but long ago have divided myself into different emotional existences for the sake of the people who need all of me at once. Through that concept, I have fooled most into believing that they are of special stature because they assume they have all of what others have nothing of. But in truth, they have only all of the piece I have portioned and designated for them. Therefore, my personality, posture and perspective can change according to the person who needs me most at the moment, and, yes, there have been times when I was more than one person when two people needed me at once. This has caused me to be boderline bipolar (well, at least theoretically) and very nervous, cautious and slightly compulsive.  

I wish to be one whole person, but in attempting to be that person, I must take back the parts of myself I have portioned out. But, for the last couple of weeks, my weak attempts at quietly taking back what’s mine, has failed miserably. It’s like I’ve become the antagonist in my own life’s story, each day I am battled by yet another person who sees my plight as a campaign of selfishness. As I try to hide myself deeper and deeper into the safety of seclusion, but someone always finds me and pulls me out, demanding my attention, my money and eventually my soul. I am afraid that by the time everyone has gotten what they need of me, I, myself, will be left with nothing.


2 Responses

  1. Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

  2. Good blog…thought provoking.

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